


Micro-Fic Dump 5

by aquatarius



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:45:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9242621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquatarius/pseuds/aquatarius
Summary: Micro fic dump #5, containing GHb<>Dual angst stuff, John and Fef being friendly cousins part one and two,  Dualscar meeting Mom, Nepeta and Equius cheering up Eridan, and Alpha John moving out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ayeee Atw back at it again with the shitty short fics.

 “My mind is a dark place.” You mutter. “You don’t want to be there.”

  Kurloz stares at you, face twisted up behind his mask of face paint. He flicks his tongue out, and wets his lips, then sucks it back in. He doesn’t look upset so much as disappointed. 

  “Aw, brother.” He says. “Ain’t no harm in taking a peek. Promise it ain’t nothin’ worse then what I got goin’ on in my own pan.” 

  You snort, and set your feet on your desk. He’s wrong. He doesn’t know the anger you harbor. The disdain for those who are even a half a caste under you. Your fury that the empress won’t at least acknowledge you. The longing you have to simply get rid of the land dwellers, or enslave all of them instead of the vast population of them. Make sure every damn blood that’s not royal violet or pink has chains around them. 

  Kurloz, sprawled out on your bed, has not an inkling of the homicidal tendencies you harbor. Well, perhaps an inkling. He’s not _that_  stupid. There’s a part of him that’s almost, frighteningly smart. The part that knows how to rip out someone’s spine, the part that knows how to make someone scream from fear alone, the part that knows how to survive as the Grand Highblood. He’s not smart, overall. But he’s not stupid. 

  “C’mon.” He coaxes. He lifts a hand and holds it out in your direction, and you glower sullenly at it. 

  “I said no.”

  “I can make all those thoughts better.” Kurloz promises, and you jerk. Your feet slam on the ground, your fins splay out, your back goes straight as a rod. He snorts at you. “You’re a sea dweller, Crobro. I know what your pan is, all poisoned with hate for us land dwellers, all ready to tear into us and only kept in check by the fact that you want someone to do your dirty work.” He chuckles quietly. “You’re one a the worst, in case you’re wondering. I can see it all…spread out on your face sometimes.”

  “You don’t know shit.” You snap. 

  “I know lots of shit.” Kurloz waves a hand to silence you when you open your mouth, and you close your mouth and grit your teeth. “And I don’t give a fuck. You _adore_  me, Cronus Ampora, and I’m pale as the moons for you. Let me in.”

  “No. I don’t want you, rooting around in there.” You say through clenched teeth. Kurloz hums a note and rolls onto his stomach. 

  “Fine. If you ever change your mind, lemme know so I can get my look on.” Kurloz says. 

  Your stomach twists and you look down at your desk. He’s wrong. He doesn’t know how bad you are, how much you hate his finless face sometimes, how much you want to take his club and smash his stupid face in sometimes, how much you want to make him hurt sometimes.

He doesn’t know, and if you have your way, he never will. 

 

* * *

 

 

You don’t know John Egbert very well yourself. You had talked to Jade, though, quite a bit, and she’d introduced you to her sort of distant cousin John. you got on well enough! 

  You find out about your relation when you’re looking through the pictures at his home. Mr. Egbert is showing you a scrap book when you spot a familiar face and point at it with a soft gasp. 

  “Who’s THAT?” You ask, pointing at a woman who’s face is as well known to you as your mother’s. 

  “Oh, that’s my mother.” Mr. Egbert says. There’s a tenderness in his voice. “Jane Egbert. She took my father’s name. She was Jane Crocker before that.” 

  “Crocker?” You run your fingers over the page. Your own name is Peixes. It’s your mother’s maiden name. She goes by Betty Crocker now, though. Mr. Egbert grimaces a little, and nods. 

  “I believe she was half sisters with your mother.” He says. “They had a falling out and she moved across the country and met my father. 

  Neither of you speak for a couple moments as you process this information. If your mother and John’s mother were half sisters…That makes you and John have _cousins_. You stand up off the couch, and clap your hands together. You have to tell him right away. What —EXCITING news!!

  You dash off to tell him, leaving Mr. Egbert on the couch. 

 

* * *

 

 

Your name is Feferi Crocker, and your cousin promised to show you how to do some  _pranking_  today. 

 The victim? Dave Strider. The prank? Classic bucket of water on top of a door. 

  You meet him in the hall, in front of the door that leads to Dave’s room, and he grins at you, then makes a motion that looks like he’s zipping his lips shut. He already has the bucket in hand. You press a finger against your lips and follow him into Dave’s room. It’s empty, just like John said it would be. There’s a bathroom connected to Dave’s room, and John heads in there. 

  John fills up the bucket with water, lips pressed tightly together to keep himself from laughing, and then presses it into your arms. You hold onto it, excitement growing in your chest as you follow him into the room again. Is Dave really going to fall for this? What if something UN–EXP–ECTED happens? 

  There’s a chair in the room, sort of rickety, and John tugs it over to the door and pulls the door half open. Both of you have to move silently, so Dave doesn’t hear a thing. It’s kinda difficult, but John does it with ease and it’s apparently something very important to pranking, so you work your hardest at it. 

  “Get on the chair.” John whispers, so quiet you almost can’t hear him. You climb on, struggling to hold the bucket and almost falling off once you’re on top. John steadies you with a hand on your waist. 

  Once you’re in position, you set the bucket on top of the door. And with that, you’re done! You hop down quickly and John puts the chair back. Then he clears his throat, and steps away from the door. He grabs your hand as he does, tugging you away too. 

  “Dave!” He calls. There’s an answering call from down the hall. “Dave! Is this your apple juice in here?”

  This time, the call is much more frantic, and there’s a curse and something along the lines of ‘don’t you touch that.’ Dave comes barreling into the room, shoving the door wide open, and the bucket crashes down and spills it’s water all over him. 

  You and John both burst into laughter at the sight of Dave, face somehow still in a stubborn Bl expression. The bucket manages to miss hitting Dave head on, but the majority of the water still soaked him to the bone. 

  “You’re both paying for this, Crockers.” Dave crosses his arms, and the sight looks absolutely ridiculous. John topples to the ground, practicdelly howling with laughter. “I swear to god I’ll get you both back for this.”

  …Hilarity aside, you have the feeling you might have gotten over your head. 

 

* * *

 

Dualscar meets her in a bar. She’s got short hair, an infectious laugh, and a skirt that hugs her rear end. For half an hour, all he can do is stare across the bar at her and wonder if she’s actually real. She’s so beautiful that she puts Scarlett Johansson to shame. Not that he ever had a thing for that one, anyway. But, she really is gorgeous. He finally makes his way over to the bar and takes a seat next to her. 

  The woman lifts her finger, and Dualscar swallows the pick up line he had ready. 

  “Two rules, hot stuff.” She says. “No cheesy pick up lines, cuz I’m a classy lady, and you have to buy me a drink before you say anything.”

  Dualscar grins. He’s going to have to work for this, and he’s going to do it gladly. No good prize ever came to those who didn’t work hard. He flagged down the bartender and bought the woman a beer. Once she had it in hand, she twisted on her seat to face him. 

  “I’m Roxy Lalonde.” She says. “You can call me Mrs. Lalonde.” 

  “Cronus Ampora. Most people call me Dualscar.” You point at your twin scars and her mouth twitches into this small, adorable, cultured smile that makes you weak in the knees. 

  “Please to meet you, Dualscar.” She says. 

  “The feeling is mutual, Mrs. Lalonde.” Dualscar responds. Her smile grows, and it feels like his heart is going to push right out of his chest it’s pounding so hard. 

  This is going to be one hell of a night. 

 

* * *

 

 

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you’re currently trying to make macaroni art with your best friend.  Which is really hard to do when there’s an asshole bemoaning his issues with rping and Team Scourge not letting him join their team even though Team Charge let Sollux join theirs. It’s a mess, the whole rping debacle, and you’re almost glad that Equius made sure you didn’t get to rp with the others. 

  Equius’s gaze slides over your head and to Eridan, who’s slumphed over a table at the ‘club house’, which is a tree house in Mr. Vantas’s backyard that’s been declared a neutral zone despite Karkat’s loud disagreements. The tree house is really big, big enough that it can fit the twelve of you with a little bit of squeezing! Not that the twelve of you could be in a single room for any amount of time without someone dying. 

  You twist in your seat to stare at Eridan, and he notices. He wrinkles his nose and glowers at the both of you. He’s so grumpy that it’s making you a little grumpy, too. Equius mutters something under his breath. You look up at him, and he looks down at you.

   “He’s fouling up the mood.” You whisper. Equius nods slowly. “We need to do something!”

  “I do not know what we would do to make Mr. Ampora cease his, foalish behavior.” Equius says. Why he insists on calling everyone Mr. and Miss, you’ll never know. He can be so silly sometimes. 

  “Don’t you mean be _hoove_ ior?” You ask. Equius’s mouth twitches, threatening to smile, but he quickly gets himself under control. 

  You swat at him with a playful hiss before sliding out of your seat and trotting over to ‘Mr. Ampora.’ Eridan looks at you and peels himself off the table. 

  “What do you want?” Eridan asks his question through his teeth, as if he can barely handle talking to you. Ugh, he’s such a jerk. 

  “Do you wanna make mac’n’cheese letters with us?” You ask. You point over to the table where Equius still sits. Equius waves at the two of you, and Eridan crosses his arms. 

  “That’s the stupidest craft ewer made.”

  “Is not!”

  “Is too.”

  “No!”

  “Yes.”

  “Nu uh.”

  “Uh huh.” 

  Equius clears his throat and says, “Perhaps he should come try for himself and judge after he’s done making some art.”

  “I don’t need to try. I already know it’s boring an’ stupid.” Eridan grumbles. He stands, though, and walks over to the table. 

  Eridan sits across from Equius. You take your seat next to Equius and push over a box of dry macaroni noodles and a bottle of glue. For a while, things are peaceful and quiet. Eridan’s scowl gradually decreases to a small pout as he works. Your own picture of a cat and Equius’s pictures of a horse come along nicely, especially with you reaching over to help Equius push the small pieces of noodle into the correct place. You’re an expert with this stuff!

  Eventually, Eridan pulls his hand away from his work. You stand up and lean over to look at it, then wrinkle your nose. It’s what is probably meant to be a gun. A really super shitty gun. It makes your heart twist to see the poor macaronis so mistreated. 

  “Well, we can work on mewr skills later.” You say. Eridan scowls again. “Do you wanna watch My Little Ponies with us?” 

  “I don’t want to watch a stupid kid’s show.” Eridan grumbles. Equius stiffens, and you blow a raspberry at Eridan. How dare he say something like that about Equius’s favorite show! 

  “It’s not stupid! You’re stupid. Stupid stupid head.” You hop off of your chair, and grab Equius’s hand. He lets you tug him over to the couch and sits on it while you get the show on. 

  Once the show is on, you snuggle against Equius to watch it. About five minutes in, Eridan slinks over and sits on the other end of the couch. He keeps his stupid mouth shut about the show, thankfully. By the time it’s ended, he’s even snickered once or twice. 

  _Thank god he’s stopped acting all gloomy_ , you think as you put on the next episode.

 

* * *

 

 

 The Condesce, Betty Crocker, Empress of Earth, flops onto the couch with an tired glub. 

  “Wow, you look exhausted.” John says. The Condesce swings her head around to look in the doorway. 

  He’s sprouted like a bean these past couple of years. It seems like every other day she’s out buying him new shoes or giving him money to get more food. He’s outgrown his love of sweets and it makes some part deep in her buried heart ache a little. 

  “I’m fin, buoy. Git on with ya school.” She says, making a shooing motion wit her hand. 

  John doesn’t obey. He comes forward, instead, walks over and shows her a piece of paper. 

  She doesn’t need to look at it to see what it is. 

  “Ya got a job?” She asks, raising an eyebrow. 

  “I’m going to be working at a club, doing a comedy show.” He says, grinning. He’s proud of himself. The Condesce snorts. 

  “You’ve got enautical money.” 

  John huffs out a sound and shakes his head. 

  “Mom,” They both know she’s not his mother, why the hell does he keep saying it? Why are humans so sentimental? “It’s not about money.” It never is. “I want to go do this! I want a life! And I’m going to.” 

  The Condesce lays her head against the back of the couch and stares up at the ceiling. 

  “Buoy, don’t go testin’ me.” 

  “I’ll be back.”

  John goes. His club turns into a show. His show turns into world wide fame and tours. He’s loved by millions. His life is full and even his ‘mother’ has to laugh at some of the things he does and says. 

  John does not come back. 

  She tells herself she does not care, and a part of her believes it. 


End file.
